Packing for NYC
It's sunday night, packing my stuff.. lots to do.. not so crazy but still.
There is something about the weight of things that accumulate.
Things that we have to carry so we can have everything we need and survive well.
It all intimidates me.
All possible things that I must do so that I can be most prepared.
And there are other things.
Not seeing family for a while.
Worries about them worrying about me.
Just getting the jitters.
And then telling the mind to shut up and pack positive thoughts, only good things
Here we go!
Operation Clean Yo House is set to commence tomorrow and final packing the day after.
A week and a day or so now- I can feel the momentum picking up!
I had a tarot reading today for the coming year- it said some hardships and tough decisions were ahead. BUT it also said I will have a personal changing experience and make some life-long friendships :))
It reminded me that every real change that happens in one's life often means a shedding of old ways, and that shedding can have hard painful moments. But ultimately change occurs. And I cant wait to meet myself on the other side (and I wish the same for you Shub, darlin).
One week now until the babies go off to their farm in Sac. I brought the cat carrier home today for Leo and Starla's taken it over! I wish it was a thousand years in the future and I could make them pint sized for the trip; they'd be my little cats in gold-fish sized form! Hahahaha (this laughter is only 25% maniacal) ;-) The apt was packed and stored last weekend and as I write this I'm sitting here with only a bed/tv/lamp/and computer. It really feels like it's happening now!
What's funny is I changed my zipcode on the one and only dating site Im on (and rarely use) and that made it seem really really official. Having it say JasmineAnn, NY,NY was weird! (but totally awesome!) I just stared at it thinking- do I even know this girl? I will. I think my potential is gonna catch up with myself, if that makes sense at all?
I'm excited, as ever, for this new journey. And I can really feel the wind in my hair from the rollarcoaster now, taking us super high before the lift off!
Packing mania, so many things to think of and little ones too.. make sure to return the rented out modem, get that freakin deposit, sell the study desk, get rid of spoilt food, the most annoying is the stuff you will need till the last day.. one week to go before so-cal.
Finding a home for my babies is intense.
I think it might even break up our little feline/human famiily for good.
And yet, all I can do is whisper to them that I've begun to etch out this next road I'll be taking and that it might lead to somewhere amazing and that it cannot include them.
I think I'm reminded that ultimately in life sometimes the road that you choose is often paved with intense emotions and feelings and you have to get past those because you will come out the other side that much stronger.
NYC is our road less traveled and we are gonna be so much fucking better off for it ;)
It is final, I will be leaving my SF job on May 25th. It's getting real, another jump into the unknown. Out of the comfort zone doesn't exactly mean uncomfortable. I have known that place before and the only thing I will change about the experience this time is that I promise to be more positive, more excited and more committed to my choices.
Yesterday Jaz graduated!! Yea!! We are getting close. Tonight I will begin packing slowly, I know there is time, but it will fly and so the wise thing to do is to take it step by step and make this happen!
Odd it is that I have begun taking cold showers in my preparation for NYC. Makes no sense whatsoever, however I look at this upcoming experience as an example of getting out of the comfort zone, you know where all the fun stuff happens. There wasn't much fun happening as the cold water hit my skin this morning. I was out of my comfort zone, therefore, I am readying myself .. one cold shower at a time, one day closer, very excited !!
I have been looking at this blog a lot. I want this time to begin so we can get to writing. There is a lot in works to get to that place. Feelings of excitement, anxiety, adventure and uncertainty are at play all keeping us moving. Can't wait!
I am reminded of two great quotes: "Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."
"What matters most is how well you walk through the fire."
beginning is simple; as thoughtless as strapping oneself into the seat.
But it is as the ride descends and the wind begins to shout into your
ears and throat that the real test commences. I cannot wait to feel that wind surrounding me. :)